Overwhelmed.

Dear friends, here I am. I'm back in Oregon after my Christmas vacation, and I've hit the ground running.

This morning, I had a very important meeting on UO's main campus. It was the annual meeting of my dissertation advisory committee (DAC), and if you don't know what a DAC is, it's a group of 5 professors designated to control my fate. I meet with the committee members each year to show them what I've accomplished in my research and seek their advice on where to go next. It sounds all well and good, but committee meetings have always terrified me. I can't recall a single one that I've enjoyed. I mean, imagine sitting down with 5 highly intelligent and powerful people, then listening as they discuss what you've done right and what you've done wrong. It's taxing every time.

The good news, I guess, is that I have a great committee. They're 5 individuals that I trust with my future, and their criticisms are always intended to help me improve as a scientist.

During our meeting today, most of the discussion centered around how I can combine my scattered publications into a coherent thesis. At this point, my research consists of lots of different projects, each with their own objectives. In order to make a thesis, though, I have to figure out what the various projects have in common and what their combined results can prove. It's going to involve a lot of work and maybe even some soul-searching - the end product will define the major findings of my dissertation but also who I am and what I specialize in as a scientist.

Am I overwhelmed? Yes; I always leave committee meetings emotionally and intellectually exhausted. But am I powerless? No. I have a good roadmap for defining my specialty and 5 awesome professors cheering for me to succeed.

Bring it on, dissertation. Bring it on.

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