How to become Norwegian
1. Move your body! Norwegians are very active people, and they're in ridiculously good shape. They're constantly hiking, walking, biking, swimming, surfing, and skiing. If you want to become Norwegian, get moving!
2. Gasp a little. When you're listening to someone speak, it's normal to say "yes" or "hmm" to show that you're actively engaged in what they're saying - that's true in all cultures. In Norway, though, active listening does not involve nodding or agreeing with the speaker. Norwegians show they're listening by taking sharp breaths, almost like they're gasping in shock. It freaked me out at first, but then I realized it was just their way of saying "Yes, I hear you." If you want to be Norwegian, gasp a little!
3. Dress like a Norwegian. A typical outfit consists of tight-fitting pants or leggings (remember, you're in ridiculously good shape), thick wool socks pulled up over said pants or leggings, some sort of fashionable but practical boot, a blouse or sweater (best if it's a traditional patterned sweater), and a scarf. Now, Norwegian scarves are not accessories to a specific outfit; they're meant to keep you warm outdoors. Take a sheet of fabric, probably wool or fleece, and wrap it loosely around your face and neck. It's best if the scarf covers at least half your face. If you feel look like a groundhog and feel like a turtle, you're doing it right.
4. Eat like an anti-vegan. Norwegians love piling animal products on top of bread - it's never a sandwich, just an open-face piece of bread. Try mackarel in tomato sauce or shrimp with mayonnaise. Cheese with jam. Boiled eggs with caviar. Butter and brown cheese. Scrambled eggs with smoked salmon. The more species you can get on top of one piece of bread, the better.
5. Get some refleks. It's dark for much of the year here, so Norwegians come prepared. They wear reflective bands on their wrists and ankles; some even have brightly-colored reflective vests. It's actually mandated to keep a reflective vest in your car in case the car breaks down and you have to go call for help. Refleks saves lives!
6. Come prepared for the weather. Norway has everything - wind, sun, rain, snow. The sky can completely change in the course of five minutes, and you encounter different weather patterns by just traveling up-fjord or uphill. Bring an umbrella, good boots, and chocolate. Yes, chocolate. It's called Kvikk Lunsj, and for all of the other precautions that Norwegians take, they have really no idea how to pack healthy snacks. If you go hiking with a Norwegian, I can almost guarantee you'll end up eating chocolate for lunch.
7. Move into a Norwegian house. The Norwegians build their houses out of wood, and they all have the same general appearance. They have that storybook house shape - you know, with simple, straight sides and a peaked roof. Norwegian houses are painted white or another bright color, and quite often, there's a Norwegian flag flying out front. It's never the full, rectangular flag, but rather a triangular strip of red fabric with a blue stripe down the middle. When you enter a Norwegian home, you have to take your shoes off; no exceptions.
8. Leave work at 4. Norwegians generally work 8-4, instead of 9-5 like in some other countries. When they leave work, they go to other activities - sports, clubs, picking up their kids. Norwegians use their long evenings to have full personal lives.
9. Go to your cabin. It's Friday at 4, and you've just left work. Actually, it's probably Friday at 2. Of course you've been dreaming about the mountains all week, and you can't wait to get out of the city. You pack your car and drive for a few hours to the end of a dirt road in the middle of the woods, then you hike for another hour or two until you reach your cabin. A cabin can be anything from a lean-to to a mansion, just as long as it's your get-away. Mismatched dishes, outhouses, and heat from a wood-burning stove? Paradise.
10. Wear your bunad. Bunad is the traditional folk dress of Norway, and most children get their first bunad for their confirmation at the age of 14. The type of bunad varies by region, and sometimes, the bunad are different from towns as little as a kilometer apart. There's a lot of cultural variation in Norway, and it's very important to the Norwegians to preserve every little bit of this cultural diversity. Bunad is the top-tier outfit - the fanciest thing that you can possibly wear - reserved for confirmations, weddings, baptisms, and Norway's national holiday on the 17th of May. The outfits are made from high-quality materials, and the embroidery is often done with silver thread. Take good care of it; treat it properly. Put on your bunad, because you are Norwegian and you're darn proud of it.
2. Gasp a little. When you're listening to someone speak, it's normal to say "yes" or "hmm" to show that you're actively engaged in what they're saying - that's true in all cultures. In Norway, though, active listening does not involve nodding or agreeing with the speaker. Norwegians show they're listening by taking sharp breaths, almost like they're gasping in shock. It freaked me out at first, but then I realized it was just their way of saying "Yes, I hear you." If you want to be Norwegian, gasp a little!
3. Dress like a Norwegian. A typical outfit consists of tight-fitting pants or leggings (remember, you're in ridiculously good shape), thick wool socks pulled up over said pants or leggings, some sort of fashionable but practical boot, a blouse or sweater (best if it's a traditional patterned sweater), and a scarf. Now, Norwegian scarves are not accessories to a specific outfit; they're meant to keep you warm outdoors. Take a sheet of fabric, probably wool or fleece, and wrap it loosely around your face and neck. It's best if the scarf covers at least half your face. If you feel look like a groundhog and feel like a turtle, you're doing it right.
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| Norwegian specialty: smoked salmon and scrambled eggs |
5. Get some refleks. It's dark for much of the year here, so Norwegians come prepared. They wear reflective bands on their wrists and ankles; some even have brightly-colored reflective vests. It's actually mandated to keep a reflective vest in your car in case the car breaks down and you have to go call for help. Refleks saves lives!
6. Come prepared for the weather. Norway has everything - wind, sun, rain, snow. The sky can completely change in the course of five minutes, and you encounter different weather patterns by just traveling up-fjord or uphill. Bring an umbrella, good boots, and chocolate. Yes, chocolate. It's called Kvikk Lunsj, and for all of the other precautions that Norwegians take, they have really no idea how to pack healthy snacks. If you go hiking with a Norwegian, I can almost guarantee you'll end up eating chocolate for lunch.
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| Typical Norwegian houses in downtown Stavanger |
8. Leave work at 4. Norwegians generally work 8-4, instead of 9-5 like in some other countries. When they leave work, they go to other activities - sports, clubs, picking up their kids. Norwegians use their long evenings to have full personal lives.
9. Go to your cabin. It's Friday at 4, and you've just left work. Actually, it's probably Friday at 2. Of course you've been dreaming about the mountains all week, and you can't wait to get out of the city. You pack your car and drive for a few hours to the end of a dirt road in the middle of the woods, then you hike for another hour or two until you reach your cabin. A cabin can be anything from a lean-to to a mansion, just as long as it's your get-away. Mismatched dishes, outhouses, and heat from a wood-burning stove? Paradise.
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| The Stavanger Bunad |
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