Dear friends, I am sitting at my kitchen table, watching the sky darken outside. I am relaxed - actually shockingly so. My dissertation has been turned in. I finished my defense presentation yesterday, and I've already practiced it twice. The logistical issues surrounding my defense have gradually gotten solved. Little by little, my to-do list is dwindling.
This feels wrong. Shouldn't I be stressed to the gills right now? Shouldn't I be frantically working, scrambling to meet a deadline? I have to be missing something.
I've never been a procrastinator. In fact, whenever I know there's a task to be completed, I feel something like an itch in my brain. I simply can't move on or relax until it's done. So I work, sometimes frantically, until the itch goes away. I always finish way ahead of schedule, then wonder why I was stressed in the first place.
Maybe my anti-procrastination method is paying off. I've gotten most everything in order with almost two weeks to spare. I suppose I should enjoy this calm while I have it, because my defense is going to be a crazy tornado of visitors and family members and committee members and labmates and stressing and defending and hopefully passing and just trying to keep myself together.
The storm is coming.
|The cover slide for my defense presentation|