In the silence

"Soft and fragile
There is grace in the dead of silence
As we dream gentle hands are shaping
Further, higher as the new day enters...
We opened the door
Found a way we hadn't seen before
Found a reality that shields us and clothes us
Makes us hungry for things the day can offer"
- "In the Silence" by Asgeir

The institute feels a lot different on a Saturday. Of course it does; I'm the only one here. Most weekends, there might be one or two other stragglers that stop in - people checking on experiments or picking up an item they forgot - but today, it's just me. It is silent.

To be honest, I think I prefer the lab on off-days. There are no undergraduates stopping in to ask only mildly meaningful questions. There are no distinguished guests for my adviser to bring through the lab and show off his graduate students to. The phone isn't ringing incessantly with people looking for my perpetually absent labmate. It's just me. And it is silent.

This week was pretty hectic. It was back to my normal Oregon schedule - work, ballet, violin - but even more than that, I think it was hectic in my head. I've got several projects going on all at the same time, and it's easy to get overwhelmed. I'm analyzing data from shipwrecks off the U.S. east coast, but also trying to make my way through a statistics textbook. I'm checking the weather incessantly in the hopes of outplanting my summer experiment, but also reading papers and keeping up with on-campus seminars. I'm attending important dinners and also thinking about my future. It's all very big and pressing, and even though few of my tasks have actual deadlines, I can't help but feel them begging to be finished. Having items on my to-do list creates something like an itch in my brain.

It's time for a deep breath. It's time for Oregon Kirstin to ask herself what Norway Kirstin would do, because that girl had all the answers; she never got overwhelmed. It's time to pick away at each task slowly, just a little bit at a time, and alternate tasks to keep myself fresh. It's time to breathe, to relax, to take it one step at a time and embrace the Saturday silence.

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