Thoughts I have while biking to work

1) Before leaving home: "Hey, my hair actually looks decent today! Oh wait...bike helmet."
2) Shortly after leaving home: "This is actually easy so far. Maybe I won't get so sweaty."
3) When approaching a hill: "That doesn't look so bad."
4) Starting up the hill: "Oh crap, here we go." (Then I shift down like 5 gears.)
5) Halfway up the hill: "My legs are burning!"
6) Almost at the top of the hill: "When will it eeeeeend?"
7) On a downhill: "I own the world!"
8) When approaching a pedestrian: "Must you take up the entire sidewalk?"
9) Immediately following the last thought: "I should really invest in a bike bell. Or an air horn."
10) When passing a school: "So many munchkins!"
11) Immediately following last thought: "Is it unethical to run over small children?"
12) Immediately following last thought: "I'm going to go with yes." (Then I slam on my brakes.)
13) Whenever a car stops for me to cross the street: "I love you!"
14) When I'm almost to IRIS: "When will it eeeeeend?" (Then I feel sweat drip down my back.)
15) When a city bus passes me: "Hey look, lazy bums, I'm biking to work!"
16) Later on, when a city bus passes me: "Take me with you!"
17) When I finally make it to IRIS: "I am a biking goddess!"
18) When I take off my bike helmet: "Hey, my hair actually looks decent today! Well...for a sweaty mess."