Sword and shield
"Was there nothing but the hush of night?
Had a treasure, but I don't know where
Did you flee from what was said and seen?
Yes, the good was not without the bad
Raise your sword and shield"
- "Was there nothing" by Ásgeir
If there was ever a verse written to describe my experiences in graduate school, it is the one above. Ásgeir, you Icelandic musical genius, your lyrics speak to my soul.
It's hard for me not to get reflective as my graduate education draws to a close. I find myself mentally reviewing my struggles and my victories, the harsh words that were said to me and the encouragement I received. I've said for years that science is easy, but relationships are hard. My time as a Ph.D. student has only reinforced this belief. I've even on occasion referred to graduate school as "one long, extended hazing ritual."
But as I watch the sky outside darken and the world prepare for sleep, I cannot help but be positive. Every trial over the past four years, every harsh review, every obnoxious obstacle in my way, has just made me into a better scientist. I have been forged like steel, and now I emerge a sharp, functional tool.
Tomorrow is my official thesis defense. It is the culmination of my graduate program, in which I will present all the research I have done for my dissertation. After my presentation, a committee of five professors will have their last chance to grill me on my research. They can question my methods or my interpretations. They can challenge the significance of my work. Everything is theoretically up for discussion.
I've been thinking a lot about the word "defense" lately, as I am supposed to "defend" my thesis. The vocabulary implies a combative scenario, in which my committee will be on the offense and I on the defense. It's their last chance to tear me apart. I should have to fight them off with my sword and shield.
But you know, I'm not actually convinced that's how it's going to happen. They say the best defense is a good offense, but I disagree. As I walk into my defense tomorrow, I don't need to offend anyone. I don't need to advance my army forward or take any prisoners. I just have to hold my ground.
If I had to choose my favorite Avenger, it would be Captain America. I like his clean-cut, sandy-blonde look, and it impresses me how much he can do with just a shield. Think about it: he doesn't even have an offensive weapon, just a defensive one, but he manages to do things with it that other Avengers just can't. Captain America can hold his ground against even the toughest onslaught.
Over the past four years, I've been pounded into the proper scientific shape. My committee, my external advisors, co-authors, and collaborators across the world have all contributed to my development. At this point, my committee knows everything that is in my thesis. They've guided me along as I wrote it. Now, my job should be just to hold my ground.
Like Captain America. Just a shield.
Had a treasure, but I don't know where
Did you flee from what was said and seen?
Yes, the good was not without the bad
Raise your sword and shield"
- "Was there nothing" by Ásgeir
If there was ever a verse written to describe my experiences in graduate school, it is the one above. Ásgeir, you Icelandic musical genius, your lyrics speak to my soul.
It's hard for me not to get reflective as my graduate education draws to a close. I find myself mentally reviewing my struggles and my victories, the harsh words that were said to me and the encouragement I received. I've said for years that science is easy, but relationships are hard. My time as a Ph.D. student has only reinforced this belief. I've even on occasion referred to graduate school as "one long, extended hazing ritual."
But as I watch the sky outside darken and the world prepare for sleep, I cannot help but be positive. Every trial over the past four years, every harsh review, every obnoxious obstacle in my way, has just made me into a better scientist. I have been forged like steel, and now I emerge a sharp, functional tool.
Tomorrow is my official thesis defense. It is the culmination of my graduate program, in which I will present all the research I have done for my dissertation. After my presentation, a committee of five professors will have their last chance to grill me on my research. They can question my methods or my interpretations. They can challenge the significance of my work. Everything is theoretically up for discussion.
I've been thinking a lot about the word "defense" lately, as I am supposed to "defend" my thesis. The vocabulary implies a combative scenario, in which my committee will be on the offense and I on the defense. It's their last chance to tear me apart. I should have to fight them off with my sword and shield.
But you know, I'm not actually convinced that's how it's going to happen. They say the best defense is a good offense, but I disagree. As I walk into my defense tomorrow, I don't need to offend anyone. I don't need to advance my army forward or take any prisoners. I just have to hold my ground.
If I had to choose my favorite Avenger, it would be Captain America. I like his clean-cut, sandy-blonde look, and it impresses me how much he can do with just a shield. Think about it: he doesn't even have an offensive weapon, just a defensive one, but he manages to do things with it that other Avengers just can't. Captain America can hold his ground against even the toughest onslaught.
Over the past four years, I've been pounded into the proper scientific shape. My committee, my external advisors, co-authors, and collaborators across the world have all contributed to my development. At this point, my committee knows everything that is in my thesis. They've guided me along as I wrote it. Now, my job should be just to hold my ground.
Like Captain America. Just a shield.
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