Blue planet

"It seems to me that the natural world is the greatest source of excitement, the greatest source of visual beauty, the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living."
- Sir David Attenborough

One day earlier this week, I stood barefoot in the shower at the marine lab, washing down the plankton net with warm water. We had just returned from Teisten, and I wanted to make sure I rinsed the salt off before the net dried. As I lifted the fabric and manuevered the hose, I couldn't help but think about the last time I had washed a plankton net in a field station shower. It was in Palau. And the time before that was in Antarctica. And the time before that was in Oregon. All at once, my brain was circling the world, embracing all the places on this blue planet that I love the most. I am incredibly grateful for this crazy, intense, geographically-scattered life that I lead.

You know, I'm at a pretty unique moment in my career right now. Just a year into my permanent position as the head of my own lab, I'm deciding what type of researcher I want to be. Over and over, I find myself drawn to remote environments, to logistically-challenging research, and to anomalous phenomena. I want to know what lives at the ends of the earth and why it goes there and how it survives. Maybe it's unwise to base an entire career on one-in-a-hundred chances that things will go to plan, but frankly, anytime I play it safe, I get bored. I'm not built for easy. I want to do the hard thing, even if it means failing sometimes. I want to push the world forward in important, meaningful ways.

I'm also deciding what kind of leader I want to be. A big part of my job now is leading research teams, and if I take on a student, I'll be responsible for shaping someone else's scientific path. I had my first cruise as chief scientist last fall, and I am the Principal Investigator for the current Arctic project despite being the youngest one on the team. Honestly, I never thought I would be leading teams so early in my career, but I guess it fits my personality. I'm working hard to strike the balance between decision-making and consensus-building, to mitigate rather than manage problems, and to communicate with my team effectively. I've learned a lot this trip, both about my natural leadership style and traits I want to cultivate. It's been a learning experience for sure.

This has been a great trip overall, but a couple moments stand out to me. When the Italians invited us to their station for espresso. When a bright green aurora showed up in the sky like a ribbon. The night I got so into the zooplankton samples I didn't leave the lab until 1 am. When I battled punishing wind to deploy a sampler from the dock. The day I spent on the zodiac while the moon illuminated the whole fjord. I will carry these moments with me because they are what make my life as a traveling researcher so great. I love the thrill and the challenge of Arctic research. I love the vibrant international community in the high north. I love the natural beauty and the unpredictable weather and the rapidly-changing light. I even love it when things go wrong. Because you know what, there's a reason no one has done this before. We push and we struggle and we fight the weather, but in the end, our daring and creativity pay off. What I love most is the thrill of victory. One way or another, we collect our samples, we catalog our data, we learn new things about the earth. And I honestly believe we make the world a better place by doing that.
Photo by Marine Ilg.

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