Elisabeth and the queen

Elisabeth and the queen

"Hi Kirstin, we're mega-excited to see you and will be standing outside in the arrivals hall. Keep an eye out for a rainbow-colored child-size umbrella and a woman who looks like she could be 8 months pregnant."

- the last text Stefanie sent me before we met at Berlin's airport

It is a powerful experience to watch a friend become a mother, especially one you have known a long time. I met Stefanie back when we were just students in 2011, and now she is a month away from welcoming child #2. Gone are the long nights of lab work followed by 4 am wake-up calls to watch a beloved show live online. Gone are the months-long expeditions to the ends of the earth. Now, life revolves around mid-day naps, a toddler who is always begging for sparkling apple juice, and the anticipation of a new baby's arrival. 

I made a joke to Steffi about her daughter, Elisabeth, sharing a name with two queens of England. "Oh, yes," Steffi responded, "Elli is the queen." Of course every toddler on earth has their own unique reign of terror, but I have to actually disagree with Stefanie here. Elisabeth is not the queen. Maybe her needs rule at home, but the queen I see is Steffi herself.

In addition to being a mother, Stefanie is also a professor at the Free University of Berlin. I was of course excited for her when she was offered the job, but I didn't fully comprehend how big of a deal her professorship is until now. If you look at the organization chart for the university's paleontology department, Stefanie's role is pretty clear. There's her predecessor, a full professor just a few years from retirement, and then right after him, the second-highest-ranking person in the entire department, is Steffi. The rest of the department consists of postdocs, PhD students, administrators, and technicians. That's it. One professor runs the department, and as soon as he retires, my friend will inherit the whole thing. Stefanie's budding lab group is the Free University's paleontology program.

This model is apparently pretty traditional at German universities. As soon as I saw that organization chart, I understood why Stefanie and her husband, André, uprooted and moved to Berlin. I understood why the arrival of their long-anticipated children led to some complicated choices. For a working-class girl born in East Germany, I could sense what this position represents. Steffi's blood, sweat, tears, and sleepless nights brought her to the absolute top of her field. She has earned her position, and I am now even more proud of her than before. 

Let's also acknowledge that André is a king in his own right. He somehow manages to care for his toddler daughter and pregnant wife while supervising his own lab group from afar. I knew he was good for Steffi, but seeing him as an engaged husband and parent - and how much he genuinely enjoys both roles - has absolutely warmed my heart. Steffi, André, Elli, and soon-to-be Freddi, I am immensely happy for you. Thank you for hosting me in Berlin, and we will see each other again soon.